1 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,042 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 2 00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:12,112 WHY DO YOU CLUTTER UP THE COUNTER WITH THIS JUNK? 3 00:00:12,112 --> 00:00:13,880 THEY'RE CALLED IMPULSE ITEMS, DAD. 4 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,982 BAH. PEOPLE DON'T HAVE IMPULSES. 5 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,884 I'M HAVING ONE RIGHT NOW. 6 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,320 HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ARE? 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,224 "HERE'S 20 BUCKS FOR GAS" AND "OH, WHAT'S THIS, LICORICE? 8 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:27,560 I KNOW I SHOULDN'T, BUT I CAN'T RESIST." EEAAH! 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,563 YOU HAD IMPULSE ITEMS WHEN YOU RAN THE PLACE. 10 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:41,641 SURE, YOU CAN TRICK A KID. KIDS ARE STUPID. 11 00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,044 YOUR DAYS OF OUTWITTING SEVEN-YEAR-OLDS ARE OVER. 12 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,212 NOW IT'S ILLEGAL FOR KIDS TO SMOKE. 13 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:48,581 WHAT? SINCE WHEN? 14 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:51,117 IS IT ILLEGAL FOR KIDS TO SMOKE? 15 00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:54,220 WHAT AM I, A LAWYER? 16 00:00:56,823 --> 00:01:00,527 ♪ YOU CAN TELL ME THAT YOUR DOG RAN AWAY ♪ 17 00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,997 ♪ THEN TELL ME THAT IT TOOK THREE DAYS ♪ 18 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:07,333 ♪ I'VE HEARD EVERY JOKE I'VE HEARD EVERY ONE YOU SAY ♪ 19 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:13,673 ♪ YOU THINK THERE'S NOT A LOT GOIN' ON ♪ 20 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:17,377 ♪ LOOK CLOSER BABY YOU'RE SO WRONG ♪ 21 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:21,014 ♪ AND THAT'S WHY YOU CAN STAY SO LONG ♪ 22 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:24,050 ♪ WHERE THERE'S NOT A LOT GOIN' ON ♪ 23 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:32,859 HEY, IS NOUGAT A REAL THING OR DID THEY MAKE THAT UP? 24 00:01:32,859 --> 00:01:35,829 CHOCOLATE IS THE LAST THING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT. 25 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,430 MY TOOTH IS KILLING ME. 26 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,767 WHAT, STILL? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTIN' THAT THING YANKED. 27 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,870 IT'LL BE FINE. IT ONLY HURTS IF I--AAH! 28 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,139 WHEN I--AAH! 29 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:49,109 WHEN YOU PRONOUNCE VOWELS? THAT COULD BE PROBLEMATIC. 30 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,810 WHEN DID YOU SEE A DENTIST? 31 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,879 A COUPLE YEARS? A COUPLE YEARS AGO. 32 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,215 YOU HAVEN'T BEEN-- OH, THREE OR FOUR. 33 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,183 '92, OKAY? IT WAS 1992. 34 00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,320 YOU SHOULD SQUEEZE IN A VISIT EVERY DECADE OR SO. 35 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,856 FOUR TO FIVE DENTISTS RECOMMEND SEEING A DENTIST. 36 00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:05,291 I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE FIFTH GUY'S THINKING. 37 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:07,694 THE LAST GUY WAS A SADIST SICKO. 38 00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,829 COME ON. HE WORE A LEATHER LAB COAT. 39 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:12,198 SO GO SEE SOMEONE ELSE. 40 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:15,068 NOUGAT, NOU-GAT. 41 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,370 HOW OLD ARE YOU? 42 00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:23,610 DR. HERTZ, DR. PAYNE, DR. YANKEM. 43 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,112 NOT VERY ENCOURAGING. 44 00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,714 YOU'RE MAKIN' THOSE NAMES UP. 45 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:29,249 UH-UH. 46 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,851 WOW! DR. PAYNE. I THINK HE FOUGHT SPIDERMAN. 47 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,853 THIS ONE, DR. MCGEE. 48 00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:37,090 THAT'S THE PSYCHO I WENT TO LAST TIME. 49 00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,491 MCGEE DOESN'T SOUND BAD. 50 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,493 HIS FIRST NAME'S LANCE. 51 00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:43,596 THERE, GO TO GO TO THIS GUY. DR. SAMUEL FENWOOD. 52 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,598 SAM FENWOOD SOUNDS SOLID, HUH? 53 00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:48,268 TYPE OF GUY WHO'D HELP YOU BUILD YOUR HOUSE. 54 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,170 "HEY, SAMMY, TOSS ME THAT HAMMER." 55 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,371 "YOU GOT IT, BRENT." 56 00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:53,373 "NICE TOSS. YOU WANT A BEER?" 57 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,341 "SURE, GET A BEER, WATCH A GAME." 58 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,177 "I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK, SAMMY." 59 00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,747 YOU IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY? IS THERE A PICTURE? 60 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:02,749 I'D NEED A BABYSITTER FOR TANNER. 61 00:03:02,749 --> 00:03:05,585 THAT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT. HE'S A BIT BRATTY. 62 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,820 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BRATTY? 63 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:11,090 YOU KNOW, KIND OF HELL SPAWNISH. 64 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,859 DO YOU WANT TO DO IT? 65 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,062 WHA--DING, DING. OH, SOMEONE'S AT THE PUMPS. 66 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,631 AAH! 67 00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,672 ONE CHILI CHEESE DOG. 68 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:28,541 BLESS YOU FOR PUTTIN' HOTDOGS BACK ON THE MENU. 69 00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,310 YOU LIKE IT? 70 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,511 LOVE IT! 71 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,947 HAH! THAT'S A TOFU DOG WITH VEGGIE CHILI. 72 00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:35,448 NO, IT ISN'T. 73 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:39,385 IT'S A MAPLE LEAF TOP DOG, ALL BEEF. 74 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,221 I COMPLIMENT YOUR CHOICE. 75 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,156 THEY WERE ON SALE. 76 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,757 HEY, WANDA, YOU WANT SOME LUNCH? 77 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:47,160 I WANT SOMEONE TO KICK ME IN THE JAW. 78 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,562 IT'S HARD TO HAVE A REGULAR CONVERSATION HERE. 79 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:53,233 I NEED A BABYSITTER. I GOTTA GO TO A DENTIST IN SASKATOON. 80 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,802 ONE OF THE LOCAL GALS COULD HELP OUT. UH-UH. 81 00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,870 GUYS? UH-UH. 82 00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:00,406 THERE'S SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A MAN WHO LIKES KIDS. 83 00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:03,810 IF YOU'RE IN A BIND, WANDA, I COULD BABYSIT. 84 00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,212 BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE-- VERY, VERY BUSY, YES. 85 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,815 BUT I COULD HELP OUT WITH LITTLE TANNER. 86 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:11,517 TANNER'S A GREAT KID. I LOVE TANNER. 87 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:14,654 HIS NAME'S TANNER, RIGHT? YEAH. 88 00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:18,224 ALL RIGHT, THEN. THANKS, BRENT. 89 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:21,127 I'LL GO CALL THE DENTIST. 90 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,464 UNLESS ONE OF YOU WANTS TO KICK ME IN THE JAW? 91 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,466 NO, SERIOUSLY, RIGHT HERE. 92 00:04:26,466 --> 00:04:27,800 NO? FINE! 93 00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:31,871 THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU. 94 00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:33,640 WELL, I'M A PROBLEM SOLVER. 95 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,408 HEY, YOU WANNA HELP ME BABYSIT? 96 00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:38,044 NO WAY. I HATE KIDS. 97 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,918 PAUL, I WANNA CHANGE MY BET. PUT MY 20 ON IRELAND. 98 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:47,253 YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR BETS. 99 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,988 PUT MY 20 ON IRELAND. 100 00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,190 FORGET IT. YOU MADE YOUR BET. 101 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,626 FINE. THEN I LOSE AND CAN'T PAY MY TAB. 102 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:57,563 SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO GIVE ME FREE BEERS, PUT MY 20 ON IRELAND. 103 00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,232 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS WATCHIN'? 104 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,401 SOCCER. YOU WANT IN ON THE ACTION? 105 00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,269 I GOT A GOOD FEELIN' ABOUT BRAZIL. 106 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,305 NAH. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SOCCER. 107 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,106 IT'S A COMPLEX SPORT. 108 00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:10,143 IT TOOK ME SOME TIME BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD THE GAME. 109 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,311 HEY, WHAT'S HE DOIN'? 110 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,580 YOU CAN'T PICK UP THE BALL AND RUN WITH IT, YA MORON! 111 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,416 UH, THIS IS RUGBY. 112 00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:18,451 OH. GIVE ME TEN ON IRELAND. 113 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:21,454 HI, LACEY. WHAT CAN I GET YA? 114 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,656 I FEEL LIKE WINE. WHAT'S YOUR HOUSE RED? 115 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,824 NOT SURE. 116 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,393 WHAT'S IT SAY ON THAT BAG OF WINE? 117 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,329 NO, THAT'S KETCHUP. THE ONE BESIDE IT. 118 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,398 YOU KNOW WHAT? BEER'S GOOD. 119 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:35,134 SO, YOU GUYS BETTING TO SEE WHO THROWS UP FIRST? 120 00:05:35,134 --> 00:05:39,238 THERE'S A LOT OF MONEY ON THIS GAME. YOU WANT IN? 121 00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:42,308 NO THANKS, I FIND GAMBLING TO BE A WASTE OF TIME. 122 00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:45,311 SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT. 123 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,846 IT'S CONFUSING. 124 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,883 FOR EXAMPLE, IF I WAS GONNA BET, WHAT'S THE UNDERAGE ON THE VIG? 125 00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,919 HUH? 126 00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,889 WHAT'S THE OVER/UNDER ON THE OUTSIDE LINE? 127 00:05:56,889 --> 00:06:01,060 ENOUGH YAKKIN'. I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE SOCCER. 128 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:03,596 THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE. YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT GAMBLING? 129 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,465 I MADE UP ALL THOSE WORDS. 130 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:08,534 I THINK I HEARD VIG ON THE SOPRANOS . 131 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,903 HEY, THE RIDER'S GAME'S ON TV TOMORROW. YOU COMIN' OVER? 132 00:06:10,903 --> 00:06:13,306 NO CAN DO. I'VE GOTTA BABYSIT FOR WANDA. 133 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,841 TANNER? 134 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:17,744 YEAH, WANDA'S KID. 135 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:21,214 I GOT 40 BUCKS SAYS THE KID STEALS BRENT'S SHOES. 136 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,083 50 BUCKS SAYS BRENT STARTS CRYING AT SOME POINT. 137 00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,519 TWO TO ONE, HE CRIES BEFORE 10:00. 138 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:28,955 I'LL TAKE THAT ACTION. 139 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:31,357 WHAT? DID YOU EVER BABYSIT WANDA'S KID? 140 00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:33,326 OH, YEAH, ONCE. THE KID'S A NIGHTMARE. 141 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,994 HOW'D SHE ROPE YOU INTO IT? 142 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:38,131 WANDA'S A FRIEND. SHE NEEDED HELP. THERE WAS NO ROPING. 143 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,565 THERE WILL BE. 144 00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:44,871 TANNER? 145 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,506 TA-- NO! 146 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,275 NO, NO, NO, NO. PUT THE TAIL DOWN. 147 00:06:49,275 --> 00:06:50,843 PUT THE TAIL DOWN. 148 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,980 NO-OH! 149 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,482 HANK? HMM? 150 00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,218 OH, MAN, YOU GOT YOUR HANDS FULL WITH THAT KID! 151 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:01,521 HE'S SIX. DID HE OVERPOWER YOU? 152 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:03,389 HEY, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE. 153 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:06,793 A LOTTA FOLKS HAVE BEEN THROWN INTO THE PIT WITH TANNER. 154 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,895 YOU SEE PHIL OVER THERE? YEAH? 155 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,296 HE BABYSAT FOR WANDA. 156 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:11,664 SO? 157 00:07:11,664 --> 00:07:13,666 WATCH. THREE, TWO, ONE. 158 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:15,802 WHAT? 159 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:18,504 EVER SINCE THAT NIGHT HE CAN'T GO TEN SECONDS 160 00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:20,540 WITHOUT LOOKIN' BEHIND HIM. 161 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:23,910 THREE, TWO, ONE. 162 00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:26,579 OKAY, THAT'S A LITTLE FREAKY. 163 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,292 HEY, ALICE. I WAS WONDERING IF YOU-- 164 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,927 SSSHH! 165 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,228 PARDON? 166 00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:44,730 THIS IS A LIBRARY. SSSHH! 167 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,632 WE'RE THE ONLY ONES HERE. 168 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:51,437 I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE IF YOU DON'T KEEP IT DOWN! 169 00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,439 OKAY, ALL RIGHT! 170 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:56,275 DO YOU HAVE ANY BOOKS ON CHILD PSYCHOLOGY? 171 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,310 ON WHAT? 172 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,544 CHILD PSYCHOLOGY. 173 00:07:58,544 --> 00:08:01,280 CHIVES ON TOP OF ME? 174 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,748 THAT'S RIGHT, ALICE. 175 00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:06,018 I WANT A BOOK ABOUT CHIVES ON TOP OF YOU. 176 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:09,322 THIS IS THE ONLY BOOK WE HAVE ON CHILD PSYCHOLOGY. 177 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,558 IT WAS WRITTEN IN 1969. 178 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:18,331 BY DR. SPEARMINT FUR. 179 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,133 I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK. 180 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,512 YOU KNOW YOU'RE SWEEPING GRAVEL, UH? 181 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,714 NOBODY ELSE IS GONNA DO IT. 182 00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:36,349 YEAH, I WONDER WHY THAT IS. 183 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,518 WHAT'S NEXT ON YOUR LIST, VACUUM THE TREES? 184 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:41,721 GIVE THESE BUGS A GOOD POLISH AND WASH THOSE ROCKS? 185 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,589 YOU'RE SMART. 186 00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,992 GROOVY PARENTS ? WHAT'S THAT, A HIPPIE BOOK? 187 00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,226 KIND OF, I GUESS. 188 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,628 IT'S ABOUT CHILD PSYCHOLOGY. 189 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,397 IT'S CRAP. I COULD TEACH YA EVERYTHING. 190 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:52,732 BUT COULD YOU NOT? 191 00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,134 THE KEY IS KEEPING THEM OFF BALANCE, MENTALLY. 192 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:57,403 THEY SCREW WITH YOU, YOU SCREW WITH THEM. 193 00:08:57,403 --> 00:09:00,139 THE KID PULLS A PRANK, YOU PULL TWO PRANKS. 194 00:09:00,139 --> 00:09:02,808 THE KID GETS LIPPY, YOU SMASH ONE OF HIS TOYS. 195 00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,344 KEEP 'EM ON THEIR HEELS, YOU KNOW, MENTALLY. 196 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,613 YES, I AM FAMILIAR WITH YOUR WORK. 197 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,916 LOOK, DAD. I GOT A NEW GUN! 198 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:12,785 OH, YEAH? LOOK WHAT I GOT! 199 00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:14,921 WANT A PIECE A THIS? 200 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,390 I COULD HAVE SWORN I REPRESSED THAT MEMORY. 201 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,492 YOU'RE OKAY LOOKING AFTER THE PLACE? 202 00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,494 I RAN THE PLACE FOR 35 YEARS. 203 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,496 I CAN HANDLE IT FOR ONE NIGHT 204 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,299 WITHOUT BURNING IT TO THE GROUND. 205 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,068 IN THOSE 35 YEARS THERE WERE SEVEN FIRES. 206 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,270 NONE OF THOSE WERE MY FAULT. 207 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:38,911 HEY, BRENT. 208 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,780 THANKS FOR DOIN' THIS. 209 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,648 OH, NO PROBLEM. 210 00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:44,650 TANNER, YOUR BABYSITTER'S HERE. 211 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,519 HE SHOULD BE RIGHT DOWN. 212 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,788 THEY YANK THE TOOTH AT 7:00 a.m. TOMORROW, 213 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:51,023 SO I SHOULD BE DONE BY MID AFTERNOON. 214 00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:53,025 OH, HERE'S SOME PHONE NUMBERS. 215 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,728 HOW COME YOU HAVE POLICE AND AMBULANCE LISTED FIRST? 216 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,598 HERE HE IS. 217 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,568 TANNER, SWEETIE, THIS IS BRENT. YOU REMEMBER BRENT, RIGHT? 218 00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:04,570 HEY, TANNER. HOW YA DOIN'? 219 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:07,039 YOU'RE GETTIN' TO BE A PRETTY BIG BOY. 220 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,242 WELL, ISN'T-- ISN'T THAT NICE. 221 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:12,478 SAY, TANNER, DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE TOY, 222 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:15,181 ONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? 223 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,650 YOU CAN'T JUST SAY "EMERGENCY VEHICLE," 224 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:18,918 YOU HAVE TO SPECIFY. 225 00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:22,254 HE CALLS "AMBULANCE," HE CALLS "FIRE DEPARTMENT." 226 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,757 WHO CALLED THE COPS? 227 00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:28,394 I DON'T WANNA BE A HARD CASE, BUT GAMBLING IS ILLEGAL. 228 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,030 IT'S NOT GAMBLING, IT'S PROBABILITY ANALYSIS. 229 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,032 PROBABILITY OF WHAT? 230 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:35,468 BRENT IS BABYSITTING TANNER. WANDA'S KID? 231 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,169 TEN BUCKS SAYS FAT LIP. 232 00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,270 I SAY STITCHES. 233 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,972 50 BUCKS ON BROKEN BONES. 234 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,641 WELL, COME ON, YOU GUYS. 235 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,577 BURN TO THE FACE, SOME SORT OF PERMANENT MARK. 236 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,680 WOULD THE LOSS OF A TOOTH COUNT AS A PERMANENT MARK? 237 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,616 BRENT'S GONNA BE OKAY, THOUGH, RIGHT? 238 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,018 RIGHT? 239 00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:53,786 TANNER, 240 00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:57,523 I BROUGHT SOME POPCORN. DO YOU LIKE POPCORN? 241 00:10:57,523 --> 00:10:59,025 I BROUGHT SOME MOVIES OVER. 242 00:10:59,025 --> 00:11:02,094 COME SHOW ME WHAT MOVIE YOU WANNA WATCH. 243 00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:03,929 TANNER? 244 00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:07,566 YOU'RE KINDA CREEPIN' ME OUT HERE. 245 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:10,336 HERE'S 20 BUCKS FOR THE GAS. 246 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,239 OOH, WHAT'S THAT? LICORICE. 247 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,107 OH, I KNOW I SHOULDN'T. 248 00:11:15,107 --> 00:11:16,676 AH, BUT I CAN'T RESIST. 249 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,078 ARE YOU BEIN' SMART WITH ME? WHAT? 250 00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:20,746 MY SON SENT YA, DIDN'T HE? 251 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,448 ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE HAD YOUR LAUGH. 252 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,116 NOW GET OUTTA HERE, SMART GAL. 253 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,652 BUT-- I SAID GET OUT! 254 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:36,328 TANNER, YOU'RE STILL HERE, RIGHT? 255 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:39,065 THIS IS JUST SOME KINDA HIDE-AND-SEEK THING? 256 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,767 I MEAN YOU CAN KEEP HIDIN' AND I'LL KEEP LOOKIN', 257 00:11:41,767 --> 00:11:44,203 BUT AT LEAST LET ME KNOW YOU'RE HERE. 258 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,205 OW! 259 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,240 THESE ARE METAL, YOU KNOW? 260 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,975 AH! 261 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,343 AND SHARP. 262 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:52,511 THERE. 263 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:55,281 I'M GIVING ODDS ON BRENT GETTING TWO BLACK EYES 264 00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,615 AND A BROKEN NOSE. 265 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:57,717 A BROKEN NOSE? 266 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,652 Davis on radio: KAREN? 267 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:00,853 GO AHEAD. 268 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:04,023 I WANT TEN BUCKS ON SPRAINED ANKLE, NO, BROKEN ANKLE. 269 00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:07,426 AND 20 BUCKS IF THEY LET ME HAVE GENERAL ANKLE INJURY. 270 00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:09,495 OKAY, DO WE HAVE GENERAL ANKLE INJURY? 271 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:10,863 I DON'T KNOW. 272 00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:12,932 OH, WE HAVE PERMANENT LIMP. 273 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,433 WHAT ABOUT CONCUSSION? 274 00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:18,070 ANYBODY PUT MONEY DOWN ON CONCUSSION? 275 00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:20,773 NO! 276 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,241 NO-OH-OH! 277 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,409 NO-OH-OH-OH! 278 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,646 NO-OH-OH! 279 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,419 RELAX, WE GOT MORE MAYO. 280 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,154 THIS IS CRAZY. 281 00:12:35,154 --> 00:12:37,089 WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF OURSELVES. 282 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:39,558 OUR FRIEND IS IN GRAVE DANGER 283 00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,994 AND WE'RE TRYING TO PROFIT OFF HIS MISERY. 284 00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,597 WELL, I'M NOT PLAYIN' YOUR SICK GAME ANYMORE. 285 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,499 BRENT NEEDS MY HELP. 286 00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:56,776 DOES ANYBODY HAVE A COAT HANGER? 287 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,111 I LOCKED THE KEYS IN MY TRUCK. 288 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,788 YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP THE KID OFF BALANCE MENTALLY, HUH? 289 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,890 ALL RIGHT. I CAN DO THAT. 290 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,893 THE KID WANTS TO PLAY, I CAN PLAY. 291 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:15,694 $17.21. 292 00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:17,730 $17.20... 293 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,300 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? 294 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:22,902 TAKIN' A PENNY. 295 00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:25,304 RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE, PLAIN AS DAY. 296 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,840 IT SAYS "NEED A PENNY, TAKE A PENNY." 297 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,809 YOU A COMMUNIST? GET OUTTA HERE. 298 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,211 I DON'T NEED YOUR PINKO PENNIES. 299 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:45,991 NEUUOOWH! 300 00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,727 WHAT, YOU'RE NOT SCARED? 301 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,996 I'M JASON, FRIDAY THE 13th . 302 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,801 ALL RIGHT, I'M FREDDY KRUGER, NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET ? 303 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,240 I GUESS SIX-YEAR-OLDS DON'T WATCH A LOT OF SLASHER FLICKS. 304 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:06,178 HEY, YOU KIDS! PUT THOSE MAGAZINES DOWN. 305 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,047 THIS IS NOT A LIBRARY. 306 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:10,115 DAMN KIDS GOT NOTHIN' BETTER TO DO? 307 00:14:10,115 --> 00:14:12,318 GET OUTTA HERE! 308 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,623 NO, NO. MIKE MEYERS IS AUSTIN POWERS. 309 00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:21,327 MICHAEL MYERS IS THE KILLER FROM HALLOWEEN. 310 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:23,796 OH, HI, LACEY. WHAT BRINGS YOU OVER? 311 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,998 I FELT BAD FOR BAILING ON YOU EARLIER. 312 00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:29,235 I THOUGHT I'D COME BY AND SEE HOW THINGS WERE GOING. 313 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:32,238 IT'S GOING OKAY, I GUESS. COME ON IN. 314 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:38,711 ARE YOU SURE EVERYTHING'S OKAY? 315 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,247 IT HAS BEEN A CHALLENGE, SURE, BUT GENERALLY OKAY. 316 00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,817 I'M TIRED OF THE TOY CARS TO THE HEAD. 317 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,285 ANY SUGGESTIONS? 318 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,721 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I'M NO GOOD WITH KIDS. 319 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:51,724 DID YOU ASK HIM NOT TO WHIP CARS AT YOUR HEAD? 320 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,994 YEAH. SO HE THREW A TRUCK. THE KID'S CLEVER. 321 00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,700 GEEZ, HI-TECH. 322 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,402 OH, CHRIST ALMIGHTY! 323 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,137 OH! OW! 324 00:15:08,207 --> 00:15:10,542 NOT MY FAULT. 325 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,346 DR. SPEARMINT MAKES A GOOD POINT HERE. 326 00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:17,716 DR. FUR, ACTUALLY. SPEARMINT'S HIS GIVEN NAME. 327 00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:19,919 BUT, ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY IT. 328 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,621 TANNER, DIG THIS. 329 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:26,292 WE HAVE TO SET UP SOME FLEXIBLE BOUNDARIES, MAN. 330 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:30,496 LIKE WE'LL RESPECT YOUR NEED FOR INDIVIDUALITY AND FREEDOM, 331 00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:35,334 BUT WITHIN AN ELASTIC EMBRACE OF LOVE. 332 00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:39,471 WE SHOULD SIT DOWN AND RAP ABOUT YOUR HEADSPACE. 333 00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:42,675 AH, COME OUT WHERE WE CAN SEE YA, YA LITTLE PUKE. 334 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,644 YA--YA CUTE LITTLE PUKE. 335 00:15:55,988 --> 00:15:58,057 HURTS, DON'T IT? 336 00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,125 WHY DO THEY MAKE CARS OUTTA METAL? 337 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,329 THEY SHOULD KNOW SOME CHILDREN ARE EVIL. 338 00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:07,232 I DON'T KNOW, BRENT, YOU MIGHT BE IN OVER YOUR HEAD WITH THIS KID. 339 00:16:07,232 --> 00:16:08,934 HAVE YOU CALLED EMMA? 340 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,569 I'M NOT GONNA PHONE MY MOM. 341 00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,538 I SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS. 342 00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,540 I'M A GROWN MAN, HE'S SIX. 343 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,509 YOU'RE A GROWN MAN, HE'S SIX. 344 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,947 FINE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 345 00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:25,417 OKAY, WE'LL HOLE UP IN HERE TILL THE CAVALRY COMES. 346 00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:29,455 MUSTANG GT. NO, IT WAS A COBRA. 347 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:32,157 THAT WAS A MUSTANG. 348 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,294 GEEZ, HOW MUCH DOES WANDA SPEND ON THESE THINGS? 349 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,210 GO! YOU GO! 350 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,278 I'M ONLY HERE TO HELP. 351 00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,748 IT WOULD HELP IF YOU GO GET THE DOOR. 352 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,016 FINE! 353 00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:00,786 HURRY! 354 00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:07,126 HAH, YOU MISSED! IS YOUR ARM GETTIN' TIRED? 355 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,366 UNBELIEVABLE! 356 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:18,337 CAN'T CONTROL ONE SMALL CHILD. 357 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:22,241 HAVE YOU GOT ANY MOTHS THAT NEED SWATTING WHILE I'M HERE? 358 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,577 AND LACEY'S WITH YOU. 359 00:17:25,577 --> 00:17:28,847 HI, EMMA. WE'RE CAMPING? 360 00:17:28,847 --> 00:17:32,284 TWO ADULTS AND THE KID'S GOT YA SHIVERING ON THE FLOOR 361 00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,219 LIKE A COUPLE A WET PUPPIES. 362 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,921 THIS IS NO ORDINARY KID, MA. 363 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:36,989 THIS KID IS DANGEROUS! 364 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:39,792 SO AM I. 365 00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:43,195 TOLD YA SHE WAS GOOD. 366 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:54,073 TRYIN' TO STEAL YOUR OWN TRUCK? 367 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,075 YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY LEX LUTHOR, ARE YA? 368 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,777 I LOCKED MY KEYS IN THE TRUCK. BRENT'S IN TROUBLE! 369 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:00,145 ANKLE? 370 00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:02,648 I DON'T KNOW. BUT I GOTTA HELP HIM. 371 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,751 YOU'RE A COP, DAVIS, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. 372 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,753 OKAY, LISTEN UP. 373 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,557 THE FIRST THING YOU GOTTA KNOW, YOUR PASSENGER WINDOW IS OPEN. 374 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,497 HOPE THAT HELPS. 375 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:25,170 THANKS, DAVIS. 376 00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,445 WHAT TIME IS IT? 377 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,515 9:28. PERFECT. 378 00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,951 WATCH AND LEARN. 379 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,954 TANNER VINCENT DOLLARD, 380 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:45,757 IN TWO MINUTES IT'LL BE 9:30. 381 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:48,894 IF YOU ARE NOT IN BED BY 9:30, 382 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,697 I WILL BE COMING UPSTAIRS 383 00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:55,667 AND I WON'T BE COMING EMPTY HANDED. 384 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,139 WAS THAT SO HARD? 385 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,141 HOW DID YOU DO THAT? 386 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,543 TWO KEY ELEMENTS. 387 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,678 USE THEIR WHOLE NAME. 388 00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:09,248 THEY HARDLY EVER HEAR ALL THREE OF THEIR NAMES, 389 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,750 SO IT KIND OF PUTS THEM OFF BALANCE. 390 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:12,951 MENTALLY? 391 00:19:12,951 --> 00:19:14,720 EXACTLY. 392 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,190 SECOND, GIVE THEM AN OPEN-ENDED THREAT, 393 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,858 NOTHING SPECIFIC. 394 00:19:19,858 --> 00:19:23,195 THAT WAY THEIR FERTILE LITTLE IMAGINATIONS 395 00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:26,865 FILL IN THE GAP WITH THE WORST THING THEY CAN THINK OF. 396 00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,867 WHOA, I JUST GOT A CHILL. 397 00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,602 LOOK OUT! SMASH! BAM! 398 00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:33,805 BRENT HERBERT LEROY, YOU GET YOUR TAIL IN BED 399 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,774 OR YOU WON'T LIKE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! 400 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:38,644 WHICH IS THE KID'S ROOM. 401 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,717 A CHILD'S IMAGINATION IS THEIR STRENGTH 402 00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:48,654 AND THEIR WEAKNESS. 403 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,656 YOU'RE LIKE YODA. 404 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,425 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 405 00:19:56,395 --> 00:19:58,430 THANKS AGAIN FOR COMIN' OVER. 406 00:19:58,430 --> 00:20:01,099 NO PROBLEM. I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN MORE HELP. 407 00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:02,100 BRENT! BRENT! 408 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:04,369 ARE YOU OKAY? 409 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,338 I'M FINE, HANK. HE'S A SIX-YEAR-OLD KID. 410 00:20:06,338 --> 00:20:09,141 WHERE IS HE? HE COULD BE WATCHIN' US RIGHT NOW. 411 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:10,776 AH, RELAX. HE'S UPSTAIRS ASLEEP. 412 00:20:10,776 --> 00:20:12,010 YEAH. 413 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,445 REALLY? 414 00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,948 THAT'S IMPRESSIVE. HOW'D YA DO IT? 415 00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:18,116 HE CALLED HIS MOMMY. HE CALLED WANDA? 416 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:20,185 NO, HE CALLED HIS MOMMY. 417 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:23,288 I THOUGHT SHE MIGHT BE LONELY WITH DAD RUNNING THE STORE. 418 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,957 HMM, BRENT CALLED EMMA. 419 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,593 THAT WAS YOUR BET, WASN'T IT? YEP. 420 00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:30,562 50 BUCKS ON BRENT CALLS EMMA. 421 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,564 THREE-TO-ONE ODDS, THAT'S 150 BUCKS. 422 00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,901 I'D TAKE A CAR TO THE HEAD ANY DAY FOR THAT. 423 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,769 LACEY ESTHER BURROWS! 424 00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,771 THAT'S NOT MY MIDDLE NAME. 425 00:20:39,771 --> 00:20:40,572 CHARLENE? 426 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,573 GERDIE? 427 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:42,574 SUNSHINE? 428 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,576 FERN? 429 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,600 Vertical Sync Closed Captioning Services Inc. 430 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,403 www.verticalsync.com 431 00:21:20,078 --> 00:21:24,750 ♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 432 00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:32,691 ♪ I DON'T KNOW I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪ 433 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:40,532 ♪ IT'S A GREAT BIG PLACE ♪ 434 00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:44,536 ♪ FULL OF NOTHIN' BUT SPACE ♪ 435 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:46,538 ♪ AND IT'S MY HAPPY PLACE ♪ 436 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:50,208 ♪ I DON'T KNOW YES YOU DO ♪ 437 00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:54,212 ♪ YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT IT ♪ 438 00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:58,383 ♪ I DON'T KNOW THE SAME THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ♪ 439 00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:01,553 WE'RE ON THE INTERWEB AT cornergas.com 440 00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:06,558 ♪ I DON'T KNOW ♪ 441 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:09,394 ♪ I JUST DON'T KNOW ♪